They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
