Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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