Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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