and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
