im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Couch. On fire.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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