I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
