drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Small penises have feelings too.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
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She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I party with great urgency now.
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