i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
