I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.