Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...

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(434): View more from Virginia

do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(573): View more from Missouri

I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.

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(618): View more from Illinois

His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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(713): View more from Texas

Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?

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(817): View more from Texas

Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles

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