Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am

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(515): if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am http://tfl.nu/tchg

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(904): View more from Florida

When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"

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(904): When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit" http://tfl.nu/bodh

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(908): View more from New Jersey

just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?

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(908): just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign? http://tfl.nu/nghc

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(703): View more from Virginia

Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened

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(703): Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened http://tfl.nu/8g9n

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.

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(617): The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door. http://tfl.nu/n48k

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(314): View more from Missouri

Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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(314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4

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(310): View more from California

I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear

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(310): I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear http://tfl.nu/97on

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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(815): Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster? http://tfl.nu/pms2

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(812): View more from Indiana

No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.

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(812): No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety. http://tfl.nu/ybkw

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(207): View more from Maine

When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.

(1-207): View more from Maine

That's not what Jesus is for

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(207): When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck. (1-207): That's not what Jesus is for http://tfl.nu/8stw

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(845): View more from New York

Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?

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(845): Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident? http://tfl.nu/4pg6

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(213): View more from California

Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20

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(213): Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20 http://tfl.nu/udx8

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(512): View more from Texas

Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me

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(512): Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me http://tfl.nu/ce08

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.

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(337): Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work. http://tfl.nu/3b5u

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.

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(+44): don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused. http://tfl.nu/f355

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