It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching