just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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