While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Dating After Heartbreak
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session