Texts From Last Night

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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.

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  (732): So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up. http://tfl.nu/tcvy
  Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (882)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.

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  (636): It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy. http://tfl.nu/hnmj
  Replies (17) Good night (600) Bad night (3021)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.

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  (256): Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference. http://tfl.nu/q39i
  Replies (33) Good night (3831) Bad night (1310)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2743) Bad night (4915)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

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  (214): If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice. http://tfl.nu/19fo
  Replies (6) Good night (3339) Bad night (850)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?

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  (978): Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick? http://tfl.nu/mjo7
  Replies (25) Good night (6385) Bad night (1227)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD

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  (781): Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD http://tfl.nu/rpdj
  Replies (10) Good night (1042) Bad night (3189)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.

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  (404): I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home. http://tfl.nu/jfgz
  Replies (10) Good night (3430) Bad night (984)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.

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  (312): All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday. http://tfl.nu/9i7k
  Replies (1) Good night (657) Bad night (1060)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness

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  (843): Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness http://tfl.nu/qoug
  Replies (0) Good night (721) Bad night (454)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in

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  (248): its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in http://tfl.nu/50v1
  Replies (3) Good night (836) Bad night (529)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.

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  (604): Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele. http://tfl.nu/5la0
  Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (293)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels

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  (423): You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels http://tfl.nu/y9c9
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (326)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.

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  (423): We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers. http://tfl.nu/yz9j
  Replies (2) Good night (602) Bad night (205)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

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  (713): He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us. http://tfl.nu/qccw
  Replies (2) Good night (423) Bad night (241)

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