im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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