there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i wish my penis had a tongue
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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