office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
