Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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