people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
