I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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