This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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