WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
