For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
