what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize