Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
