i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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