I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
