I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
