YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
