My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't deserve a penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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