It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize