You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
