What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
