need another drink. this is the easiest way
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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