woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
