she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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