are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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