If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Everclear isn't food dammit
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize