I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize