she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
