In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Randomize
