I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Send help, water and tortillas.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
