you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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