Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I looked at my own cervix.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
