All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
