Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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