Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
