So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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