i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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