he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
