just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
