Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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