I CAN MOONWALK!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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