I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
