How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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