were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
A bitchslap is in order.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
