His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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