I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize