This is not my ceiling
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize