i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
vagina is talking i cant
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
