just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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