You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
