Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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